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| What's Your EQ? | ||||||
| (From Jungle Magazine - www.jungleonline.com) | ||||||
A class of rising stars at PepsiCo was listening to Debra Benton, who has coached CEOs and senior management across the country, explain all about the “importance of the emotional side of business.” At the Q and A afterward, one of the bright MBAs in the audience raised her hand and said, “I don’t really have to worry about my soft side. I was hired because I have a 4.0 from a top university. Plus, my work speaks for itself.” Her boss leaned over to Benton and said, “You had better speak a little louder.” What the legend in her own mind needed was a stiff shot of executive intelligence, or EQ. “Executive intelligence is being aware of the effect you have on other people in the company and being responsible for it,” says Benton, author of Executive Charisma and founder of Benton Management Resources in Fort Collins, Colorado. “True leadership is the ability to get people to move the way you want them to move.” EQ can leapfrog you over the pack of CEO hopefuls faster than a Mensa-level IQ, a Stanford MBA, or calling the current CEO “Dad.” Turns out CEOs can no longer just be stellar strategists; they also have to be masters of their emotions. The big cheese often gets hired for his skills but fired for his personality. “EQ isn’t touchy-feely stuff but practical attitude management,” says Marshall Goldsmith, who earns $1.5 million a year training senior execs at UBS and Johnson & Johnson and coaching many prominent CEOs. “People issues are often the critical factor once you get past the first two levels of management.” Okay. So where does that leave a new MBA who might have aced his organizational behavior finals but who knows diddly about bolstering the self-esteem of his direct reports? “There isn’t a course in B-school that prepares future MBAs to deal with the nuances of human behavior,” says Annie McKee of Teleos Leadership Institute in Philadelphia, whom BusinessWeek called one of an “elite corps of CEO coaches.” “They simply haven’t had the experience to handle complex team dynamics and power.” Not to worry, though. We’ve got you covered. MANAGING YOURSELF When Benton lectures freshly minted MBAs, she runs through the same shtick. “Raise your hand if you’re ambitious.” All hands go up. “Raise your hand if you made good grades.” Ditto. “So who’s left?” she asks. Well, no one. “To stand out from the crowd you need to set yourself apart by being different. Not weird like printing your resumé on fuchsia paper, but in more subtle yet significant ways,” says Benton. “As with sports and politics, there are theatrics involved in business,” says Benton. “You need to act cool, calm, comfortable, confident, even if you don’t feel it or haven’t mastered those skills. Funny enough, even if the higher-ups don’t have that skill set, they do often recognize them in others.” Benton suggests you slow down your demeanor—words and actions. As you enter the office of a recruiter or a new boss, don’t rush over to the chair or meeting table, shake their hand, and spew out a string of clever ideas and observations. A sense of high energy may come across as nervousness, even fear. There are certain stereotypical characteristics that leaders possess. Embrace them. “I was working with a politician who was running for mayor,” explains Benton. “I asked him to imagine that he had already won and to act like the top elected official wherever he went. How would he dress? How would he conduct himself in a grocery store? How would he respond when people came up to talk with him?” THE INTERVIEW Before talking with the recruiter or human resources, do what all top executives do—rehearse. “Don’t tell me you’ll lose your spontaneity or won’t be yourself if you rehearse,” says Benton. “‘Yourself’ is something you can practice.” Rehearsing is a skill you can use throughout your career. One CEO told Benton that he always over-prepares the night before a shareholders’ meeting: “I plan on answering 100 questions, even if only a few will be asked.” Be camera ready. Have a friend videotape you and focus on tweaking your body language: Do you look the interviewer in the eye? Do you appear relaxed and composed? “Work on keeping your facial muscles relaxed,” says Benton. Take voice lessons. Speak in a normal tone, as if you were saying, “Please pass the salt.” Answer questions without sounding defensive; an interview, after all, isn’t a police investigation—though with a tough recruiter it might seem like one. Keep your answers simple. “When you try to impress people with four-syllable words, your tone of voice changes, and others detect that,” says Benton. Engage the interviewer. If asked to talk about yourself, answer, “I’ll be glad to. What would you like to know about? My work experience, education, community activities?” Be neutral but informative. When asked about your strengths and weaknesses, say, “Let me tell you about my weaknesses first and get them out of the way.” Use positive-negative statements like: “Sometimes I put too much on my plate, but I’m learning to say ‘no.’” Attribute praise to someone else. Arrogance won’t get you the job; confidence will. When talking about your successes, say, “My last boss would tell you I’m good with people,” suggests Benton, who recommends you follow that up with a story. “People love stories in interviews,” she says. “They make you memorable.” PRESENTATIONS AND CLIENTS Once you snag the job, separating yourself from the competition at the company doesn’t mean sporting a silver ear stud or reprising David Letterman’s Top Ten list to senior management over the urinal. “We are talking about developing and maintaining executive presence during the course of a business day and especially at meetings,” explains Joyce Newman of The Newman Group in New York, whose client roster includes executives at UPS, McDonald’s, Bear Stearns, and Booz Allen Hamilton. “How you dress, where you sit at a meeting, how you sit at a meeting, what you say during the course of a business day affects your image in the eyes of coworkers, bosses, and clients. “MBAs and young executives need to continue to invest in themselves after business school,” she adds. “People decide in three to seven seconds whether they’re going to listen to you.” That’s not a helluva lot of time to convey confidence, control, and maturity. Get groomed. “You shouldn’t look like you’re from a different decade. Get a contemporary haircut, and make sure your shoes are shined,” says Newman. If you want a clue about how to dress, use the client or boss as a prototype. A brilliant 31-year-old executive at a big Chicago bank asked Newman why no one ever seemed to remember her after a big meeting. Newman took one look at the woman and said, “Brown.” “What do you mean?” said the hotshot, who had degrees from MIT and Harvard. “Your hair is brown; you’re wearing brown shoes, a brown suit, and brown glasses,” Newman said. “You’re blending into the wood walls of the bank.” Newman videotaped the executive, and she immediately saw for herself what needed to be done. Own your presentation. Always rehearse the beginning of a speech aloud, says Newman, because in your mind it will always sound perfect, even when it is far from it. If possible, rehearse at the meeting site beforehand. The eyes have it. When delivering a speech or making a new product launch, make eye contact with someone in the audience as you end a sentence. Choose a different person each time, so you wind up engaging—and winning over—the entire room. Mark it up. “Highlight the words that carry the real message you want to get across,” suggests Newman. “Give those phrases more vocal punch to further drive it home.” Use adrenaline to your benefit. “Put nervous energy to work,” explains Newman. Use a relevant gesture when starting your speech. Women who are nervous often talk in a high voice, sounding like Betty Boop. Take a deep breath and begin speaking at a lower pitch so that you don’t become shrill. Pause at the end of a sentence to take another breath. If you don’t get fresh oxygen, you’ll wind up droning on like Ben Stein. Get prepped. Google the client or pore over their website before a meeting to find out some insightful tidbits that will foster rapport. Once in the client's office, do some quick reconaissance and look for some conversation starters to extend or deepen your relationship. “I was on a sales call, and they put me in a conference room with one pretty buttoned-up guy,” says Newman. “No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find a hook for a conversation.” Nosing around after the guy left the room to take a call, Newman found a University of Wisconsin brochure sitting on the credenza. “You’re a Badger and I’m a Badger,” she said, when the honcho returned. Newman wound up landing the account. Watch your language, ladies. As you scale the ladder at a company, adopting the language of male management—like “screwed up,” “chewed my ass out,” or “getting things off my chest”—doesn’t wash in most circles, says Benton. “It subtracts from your executive presence.” Reserve indignation for moments that count—salary and promotion disputes. MANAGING OTHERS IQ has its place as you climb to middle management and beyond, but EQ is the ticket to fast-forward advancement. “Hard work and brilliance are necessary but not sufficient to soar to the top,” says Benton. Former GE wunderkind Jack Welch used to say that if you’re getting the numbers, that’s great, but if you’re getting them by being a slave-driving SOB, your days are numbered. Those blessed with EQ can get results without turning into Bobby Knight. Build bridges. Marshall Goldsmith advises that you actively build alliances with employees. Explain why you’re doing things the way you are and lobby everyone for their ideas and opinions. “Then shut up and listen,” says Goldsmith. Why is listening so damned difficult for most managers? “Because they’re composing their next thought rather than tuning in to what’s being said,” Goldsmith says. When you solicit a coworker’s opinion, listen without grading the idea. Learn new tricks. Just because you’ve run a successful project or exceeded revenue expectations for two quarters straight doesn’t mean you know it all. Goldsmith suggests managers take informal “tutorials” from their employees and team members. We can all learn from those who are younger, less experienced, or different. When you get too arrogant to learn, you start to die as a manager. Embrace your critics. When you hear something that is at odds with your 24-karat self-image, the first reaction is denial. You think, “You’re off base, you don’t understand my unique situation.” But remember: There’s always a possibility that they do know you better than you know yourself. Don’t hide behind an email.Conveying the critical mission of a new project through a lengthy email, no matter how brilliantly or enthusiastically it’s crafted, is only the first step in getting on the same page with your employees. Try a little old-fashioned follow-up, advises Goldsmith. “Make sure that people really understand,” he says. “Talk with them to get a read of their buy-in and their level of commitment to executing the plan. Follow-up may take a little time, but much less than the time wasted on miscommunication and botched execution.” Reinvent yourself. Ask your direct reports and peers what you can change about yourself to make their work life better. “This type of ‘feed-forward’ advice is better than feedback because it focuses on a positive future rather than a failed past,” says Goldmsith. Take their recommendations and identify one or two critical areas that will make the biggest difference, says Goldsmith. Changing entrenched behaviors is hard, like going from glasses to contacts, quitting smoking, working out daily, and giving up carbs—all at once. As a result, McKee suggests, “Go with your strengths because that gives faster results than just focusing on your weaknesses.” Follow up with your coworkers for a progress report. “And always thank them for helping you,” Goldsmith says. Attitude adjustment. “Expect acceptance and give acceptance,” says Benton. “If you’re a junior analyst and the CEO walks in to chat, convey a sense that you belong in the company and are key to its success.” So deep-six the humble pie. “A CEO I was working with told me that during his 32 years in the company he never once discriminated against women or minorities. But he did admit to discriminating against those who acted as if they weren’t on par with everyone else. ‘If they didn’t expect acceptance, I didn’t give it to them,’ he told me.” The other side of the equation is equally important. “MBAs can be very critical of coworkers who don’t have a degree or who may not be as technically talented,” observes Benton. “They need to understand that the ultimate leader maintains the self-esteem of those who work with them and below them.” That means everyone—the mailroom manager, the custodian, the vice president. All should be treated the same. “If MBAs get this, they will go very far, very fast.” MANAGING THE WHOLE ENCHILADA Do unto others. Remember Ms. All-Star at the beginning of the story? “Her comment is classic of high achievers,” Goldsmith says. “It’s ‘all about me.’ With a leader, it’s ‘all about everyone else.’ Leadership is the ability to manage knowledge workers—those who know more than you do about what they’re doing.” “The old school of ‘I’m the boss and you’re not’ no longer works,” adds Goldsmith. Share power—tell your colleagues, upper management, and direct reports what you’re thinking. Don’t keep it all in your head. Inspiration plus perspiration. Successful bosses inspire their employees by making everyone under them feel important, says Joyce Newman. Everyone. Alan Greenberg at Bear Stearns would wander around the office and trading floor talking to employees. Says Newman: “He’d also call new employees, saying, ‘I’m Ace Greenberg, welcome to Bear Stearns. I work for you. Here’s my number. I want to hear from you. Let me know how you’re doing.’” To get to know his 1,000 employees, a new CEO started “Breakfast with Fred.” One Friday a month, Fred’s PR people targeted a group of 20 people to break bread with him. “The employees thought, ‘Wow, I’m meeting with the new guy!’” Newman says. The workers had a take-home, too—mugs imprinted with “Breakfast with Fred.” When the going gets tough, Colleen Barrett, president of Southwest Airlines, takes out her old mail file and rereads the notes complimenting her employees for their outstanding service. That juices her up, as McKee recounts in her new book, Resonant Leadership. What’s more, once a month, Barrett sends her workers copies of the most inspiring letters to recharge their batteries. “The ultimate leader is able to maintain the self-esteem of her employees,” concludes Benton. “Five seconds or minutes of executive intelligence can advance your career more than all the hard work in the world.” EXTREME MAKEOVER Mike was a young New York investment banker whose annual income topped out at $4 million. He was such a go-getter that the CEO named him to the company's management committee. It was only then that top management saw what Mike's colleagues had suffered through for several years—a tough-talking, mean-spirited pain in the butt. Mike was not only disrespectful to his bosses but also mouthed off to the CEO who promoted him. Rather than fire the high earner, the CEO called in a coach—Marshall Goldmith—to perform an intervention. Goldsmith soon discovered that Mike was rated last by the company in his treatment of direct reports and colleagues. Goldsmith’s first question was, “How do you treat your family?” “I'm a warrior at the office but a pussycat at home,” answered Mike. “Let's call home and ask your wife,” Goldmsith suggested. When Mike's wife stopped laughing at her husband's delusion of civility, she told Goldsmith that she and her two sons thought Mike behaved like a jerk at home, too. “Do you really want to have a funeral that no one attends except for business reasons?” asked Goldsmith. Mike said he wanted to change, claiming he would be ashamed if his sons grew up to be jerks like him. A year later, Mike's coworkers rated him average in his handling of employees—and his income doubled to $8 million a year. Four Clues You Need a CEO Coach
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Contact
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